question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
