doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
