so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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