Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
