dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
