Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
