love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
