school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
