I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
