Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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