So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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