big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
