I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I FOUND THE LEGS
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