So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
