is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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