What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
