There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
