Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
