well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
