Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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