PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
