shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
