I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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