this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
