Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize