he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
