oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
