I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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