So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
