is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
