Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

shaved balls and baby powder=awesome

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(360): View more from Washington

You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle

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(314): View more from Missouri

The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.

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