Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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