you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize