I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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