Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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