I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
