whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
