Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
