how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Panties = found
Randomize
