Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
