Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
