yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
