ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
