Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
