I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
third nipple confirmed
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
