Joe is yelling at the trees again.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
