he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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