So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
