Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
