i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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