glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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