And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How external is "for external use only"?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
