No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
