Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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