I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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