Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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