You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
