chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Damn victory sex feels great
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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