Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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