Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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