would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
