Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
