I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
