Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize