Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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