This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize