Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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