im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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