I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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