Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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